It’s believed George Stanley, inventor of the Maple Leaf flag, read the T&T daily, cover to cover and sometimes twice. It’s not known whether today’s full, front-page ad for auto parts would have interested him even though there’s a rumour going around that his Maktig pistol grip grease gun, now on sale for only $52.99, was a most-prized possession
Dear Warktimes Editor,
Finally, our town has a leader who understands politics, power and the press.
I refer to Mayor Mesheau, whose report to town council on Tuesday broke the news about high-stakes talks he’s been conducting with a member of New Brunswick’s First Family. The mayor explained things so eloquently that I really should quote him in full:
I also had the opportunity to speak with Mike Power and Jamie Irving with Brunswick News. We had a Zoom meeting here almost two weeks ago now to discuss additional dedicated coverage for Sackville and the area with the loss of the Tribune-Post. So those conversations continue to go on and see if there’s options to have additional coverage for Sackville in the Times & Transcript.
As you can see, Mayor Mesheau downplayed his big news, modestly choosing not to outline those “options” that will surely win us tonnes of ink in the the T &T, eagerly perused daily by at least a dozen or two Sackvillians.
One option, of course, would be the buying of ad space such as the good-sized one today on page A2 of the T &T.
Ad that appears on pg. 2 of today’s Times & Transcript
Fortunately, the steep rise in property tax assessments this year will give Sackville plenty of extra cash to buy ad space from the Irvings.
True, Sackville Town Council has sometimes been at odds with First Family Interests — glyphosate spraying comes to mind, as does the Energy East pipeline — but what the heck, this is not an easy time, even for the 300 (or so) companies in a $4 billion (or so) Empire that is struggling to run this here province through the sheer genius and good humour of retired Irving Exec, Grandpa Higgs.
Flying flyers
Another way our good mayor could support the Empire would be to make sure that the tree huggers on town council don’t try to interfere with the dumping of pink-plastic-wrapped Irving flyer bundles in our driveways, on our front lawns, in the garden, on sidewalks, in the gutters, in the lilac bushes, on the manure pile, and just about everywhere imaginable here, (but not in Moncton where a stupid bylaw prevents it).
Without that last pink bundle, how would I have known about the $199 (reg. $299) swivel bar stool available at a certain furniture outlet on the King George Hwy in Miramichi? Not to mention the Queen Platform Bed with drawers for only $599 (reg. $869), even though I must hasten to add the mattress was not included.
Mayor Mesheau announcing ongoing talks with the Irving Empire during Tuesday’s council corn boil
Although I doubt that he has even thought of it, I’ll close this missive by pointing out that our mayor would do well to have the friendship of the Irving papers should he decide to follow in his brother’s footsteps and make the big leap into the provincial political fray.
Mind you, the Irvings will not likely be sending their reporters to actually cover Sackville Town Council, but they could continue their practice of calling our mayor up a day or two later to fill them in on the latest.
That way, the name “Mesheau” gets lots of ink while the tree hugging, fossil-fuel dissing, climate-change worry warts get none.
Hardy, har har. The Empire Strikes Back.
Yours truly,
XXXXXXXXXXX
This was a trashy letter to the editor not worth publishing Bruce.
I really enjoyed this letter & find it has a lot for people of Sackville to think about . Well done XXXXXXXXXXX & Bruce for publishing this. Dave Bailie
A LONG TIME AGO (well, this week) IN A GALAXY FAR AWAY (well, here in Greenville)……
First of XXXXXXXXXXX, a since thank you for the belly laughs you caused me yesterday evening. It also caused me to spit out some great single malt while reading – the cats obligingly cleaned it up and slept better last night. A refreshing change from the caustic discourse in our dear town. If you don’t mind, I’ll refer to you as Multi-XXX in the following paragraphs (I don’t want to wear out my X key). Sorry for the porn site like moniker but it’s the best I can do after only having two ethically sourced coffee so far.
Fear not for C3PO Stanley – I deployed a Jedi mind trick against the Empire Storm Troopers as in “This is not the droid you’re looking for.” He is safe. For now.
The T & T (sorry for another porn like name). Multi-XXX, you’ve outlined a clear and present danger to our town. Fear not. The rebel forces of the NWT and CHMA are fighting the good fight. Their content easily is protecting the tree huggers – 75% of their ink. What of the other 25% – again, fear not. When CBC ventures out of Fortress Moncton, the triumvirate is complete. The flyers? C’mon, just pick em up and throw them in the ocean – whales can eat a few hundred pounds of that junk. Easy people – just some humour – not a real edict.
So, let’s get a more of a Monty Pythonesque banter going in our town as in:
Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean Peoples Front?
Reg: F#%k Off. We’re the Peoples Front of Judea!
We can all do this. In no time we’ll all sing the Lumberjack song at the opening ceremonies for Fall Fair! YES WE CAN! I STILL BELIEVE IN A PLACE CALLED HOPE.
I digress. Multi-XXX, cannot predict the future aggressions of the evil Darth Irving. Nor can I predict if our modest Mayor will follow Saint Peters path – the long pilgrimage on the Camino TransCanada to Fredericton. He would be well advised to consider the plight of our perfect PM who is unfairly compared to Saint Pierre. The Father still outshines the Son by a country mile…or is it country kilometre? Thanks for the metric, Father….
I enjoy this sort of mockery… more than most people in pondville but more importantly I promote Wark Times even though the feels aren’t necessarily mutual.. because I’m cool like that.
Excellent post, Bruce. Though I beg to differ on your estimate of two dozen T&T subscribers. I am sure there are fewer than that 😉